A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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