Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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