he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
