Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
