it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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