Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Randomize
