I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Randomize
