I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
