Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Text me some of your sweat
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize