im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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