she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
