I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
