Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
