So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
