But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I think my vagina is haunted
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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