The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Found your dick twin last night
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
