soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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