you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
