I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
