Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
