so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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