you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
