Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
