Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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