he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
