just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Randomize
