Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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