i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
