We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
