Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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