You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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