We tried having a conversation with our noses.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize