OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
