Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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