Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
