dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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