I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
