Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize