To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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