A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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