yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
