I think I just saw someone hide a body.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
