That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I need a burrito and a hug.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize