Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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