Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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