I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
