I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You can't motorboat a personality
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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