I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize