This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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