well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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