I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
