do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
