Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize