After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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