Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
