I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
