Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He kissed a someone with a penis
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
