I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize