he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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