hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
No subtext here. People are naked.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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