maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
