i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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