Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
