Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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