You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
