So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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