dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize