It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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