I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
