Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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