Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
