I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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