wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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