Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
