I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
