Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
